KAHIHI

Imagine how wonderful it will be to learn how people use their minds, their mental strategies, and act in a manner where the entire aura around everyone is filled with compassion and positive energies. It is truly an enticing experience to enrich the quality of other people’s lives. The enrichment is nothing but the change in one’s attitude and approach, necessarily in the positive direction. It leaves a magical effect on the people and also on the surroundings of those people.

Each one of us, at some point, have had felt a strong desire to bring about a change to this world, change in our surroundings, change in yourself or a person, all to make things better and have a conducive environment all around where things are un unison creating an overflow of pleasant positive things. This desire usually stems from vision, ‘our lives could be enriched and improved in some way’. Such visions provide guidance and directions for our lives and our work, furnishing the motivation and impetus for the change. Such visions when shared by number of people, form a foundation for effective team work and ultimately for progress of a civilization.

This process of change that causes human evolution, when accelerated with focused approach and objectives, give birth to revolutions. Chain of events takes place just like a rolling snowball from the top of a mountain that gathers more snow and momentum as it slides down. That small ball of stone eventually becomes mammoth like and unstoppable, engulfing anything and everything that comes in its way. These are the times when history is shaped.

Quite similarly, it is possible to bring about changes in us and revolutionise the way we behave, interact, communicate, and approach to situations, the only challenge being to take charge of the process and direct it with precision. With the changes taking place in small packets, you will one day find yourself gifted with a huge packet of solace and satisfaction. You will feel wonderful when you re-experience the most wonderful moments of life as it they are happening now, and you will become amnesiac to your problems, worries, frustrations, limitations.

The question is not whether you can be happy or successful. It is actually about how much happiness can you stand before you finally fall off? And realize this is just the beginning. There is a whole new world to be explored as saying says, “Anyone can count seeds in apple but no one can possibly count all the apples in the seed.”

Children are so much soaked in violence that it won’t be surprising to hear them talk about it or go ahead and do it.

My friend sent me a text message last week asking me to list my favourite moment, my sad moment, my happiest moment etc of the year 2010. It then dawned on me that countdown for the New Year has begun. I have been waiting for the clock to tick to twelve.

I quickly spiraled down the memory lane to ponder over the year that went by. There were moments that gave me extreme joy. However, there were times when I regret the oysters I threw away from my life when I forgot to see the pearls inside them.

The beginning was scary, life had taken a tumultuous turn and I am still on the recovery path; matters have improved a lot though. The year was a roller coaster ride.

Now, I have began to look at the previous year not only from my perspective and the effects it had had one me but also taking under purview the people who matter to me. For some of my friends their life changed drastically when stork visited them delivering to them the new meaning of life. To a few, life taught painful lessons at the cost of their beloved ones.

Changes were influencing not only personal lives but professional lives as well. The tidal wave of recession made situations worrisome, every step needed a cautious attention, and career roadmap needed a meticulous approach.

Now again the clock is ticking fast. Everyone is preparing for the New Year, to welcome it in their own way. While the younger generation is busy planning to make their evening a happening experience, our parents and grandparents will be seen in front of the TV sets either watching the programs or volleying between channels where lot of astrologers will give away detailed horoscope of the year to come. This happens every year.

However, apart from changing the date in the calendar I wonder what is so new about this New Year. I have no idea how it will be. But just like all you wonderful people, I too will be preparing a list full of hopes, dreams, some resolutions (which will be forgotten come February), new desires, excuses to do more shopping, some expectations, new movies. Apart from all these, I plan to come up with a new list. Something I never did previous year, something I plan to do now every year. I will have that list hung somewhere in my room where I can glance through it every time I pass by it. The list will indeed be very special to me – “The Gratitude List”.

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow”, words of a elderly wise person.

So, in between those happening parties, lavish dinners, exchanging texts, calls, shopping, celebrations, steal sometime of solitude. A time that is only yours and only for you. Sit back and relax. Express your thankfulness to everyone who made you smile, who made you feel stronger, who inspired you. Reflect upon those moments of adversity and pain when life taught you some lessons without which you wouldn't be what you are today.

Like Eileen Caddy writes, “Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.” Gratitude helps you to express from the heart and invite the best in the future. So forget those moments that broke you and let us say our heartfelt gratitude to life and welcome a new beginning, a new you and me.

I am not sure how long my Gratitude List would be but here are few things that I can quickly gather:

• Thank you for bringing me into this beautiful world.
• Thank you for giving me the best parents.
• Thank you for this beautiful place I call My Home.
• Thank you for those lovely friends.
• Thank you for this soft, supple and beautiful skin.
• Thank you for making me reliable, honest and trust worthy.
• Thank you for bestowing me with creativity. I feel so special and unique.
• Thank you for all those second looks I got. :)
• Thank you for bringing those wrong people, without whom I could never appreciate and realise, recognize, admire and preserve those wonderful ones who care for me.
• Thank you for those adversities and also the strength without which I would never have been this wise.
• Thank you for all the love.
• Thank you for making me a Woman.
• Thank you for the feminity.
• Thank you for making me, ME.

And thank you to all the wonderful readers of KAHIHI for taking time to read and appreciate our efforts. A huge motivation for us.

With a promise to come out with more on KAHIHI, wishing you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!

I decided never to get into a relationship. I have devoutly consorted to this resolution for over a decade now. Every year I just renew this resolution. And with every passing year my confidence in my New Year resolution has deepened. Till date I don’t have a concrete rationale why I should fall in love or have a companion or get into a relationship.

For me getting into a relationship is farce where nothing is true. Even the words “I love you” or “tum mujhe acche lagte ho” are perfunctory. Those words look and sound beautiful only in the start, only to fade away eventually. The words are good to strike off the chord, begin the communication, however, later the communication lines get jammed up, and later things are directly taken for granted without a thought to other person’s intentions. Where does the essence of getting into relationship ooze off?

Most often, relationships make one sacrifice on self respect and dignity. I know many people who had literally begged to a girl to get her nod to accept their proposal. I am still confused about what is there so much to die for. Girls brutally exploited those boys to get free bike rides, watch movies, and eat at the Taj, Marriott. The megalomaniac boys showered their hard money on their stupid girlfriends. Not that I don’t have that kind of money but I find it foolish to spend it in return for holding a hand along the sea shore or getting a kiss in return.

I ask many what makes them so desperate to get into a relationship. Answers range from Mercury to Pluto, with our without logic, sensual to emotional but none to convince me.

I have been observing an imprudent friend of mine lately. He has been smitten by the “I-need-you : you-are-my-life : you-make-me-smile : you-are-the-one” bug. This insanely-in-love friend of mine just doesn’t understand the logic of ‘shut it-fuck it-forget it’. The girl smartly plays “ringa-ringa-roses” of words with him and he stays amused by all that. I wonder what makes him stay so optimistic about the entire episode. He falls to the every excuse she gives him – ‘what’s the hurry’, ‘time will tell’, ‘we still don’t know each other well’, and so on. My silly friend takes all that and sleeps off with sweet dreams in his head and smile on his lips. Idiot!

I don’t understand how time will tell anything. Aren’t we supposed to plan our time, schedule things, and make our plans work in accordance? I understand there is no hurry unless you don’t mind holding shivering hands or kisses with hollow toothless mouth or don’t expect children at the age when only function the reproductive organ can do is micturate. And when does one plan to know each other well enough? Most of the time my friend doesn’t even get to talk to the one whom he admires so much. All calls go unattended, SMS unreplied, there are only specific time windows when calls can be made. It is all so conditional and unrealistic. Well such a case, most certainly the time when you would have actually got to know each other is during the old age. And I thought true relationships are unconditional and beyond any time factor.

I see break offs, divorces, on-time-weddings all around me. There is zero patience in relationships today. There was a time when I read about foreign celebrity divorces in newspapers, see divorces in movies, then saw my own parents going through it, and then seeing it among my friends. My belief in relationships has shattered with each passing day and my belief in not getting into one has strengthened exponentially in the rising ratio. I hate it when relationships are sought desperately turning a blind eye to the fact that you lay at the mercy of other person’s wish and will.

There are people who pity me, laugh at my misanthropic (which I am not, people have assumed it to be so) life. I just smile back with a thought, ‘let’s see whose smile lasts longer’.

Recently, I came across an outwardly fragile and ill man, an aam aadmi, with inherent mental guts.

Weather being comfortably cold, it is a touring time in south peninsula. Highways are jammed with thousands of public, private buses and vehicles – a good sign of financial progress the ruling party is boasting about.

It was a lavish seven-seater on highway number 17. Little after crossing Panvel, a dhaba appeared. It was 8.30 p.m. The vehicle driver got down for his dinner. He was atypical. Unlike other drivers, generally with an expected look of having it from the hirers of the vehicle, this driver took his seemingly usual corner. His confidence while marching towards the table made it apparent.

He ordered his pint and started his evening session with an added confidence.

Our aam aadmi who had hired the vehicle didn’t approve the act. What we do at such times? Keep quiet? Discard the behavior?

This bold aam aadmi took out the visiting card of the two-car-fleet owner and rang the office from his cell phone. He narrated the story and asked to order the overconfident and apparently victorious highway sarathi of the vehicle for a retreat. The Information Technology & Telecom revolution benefit.

The sarathi with his unyielding face was initially reluctant to accept the defeat. However, he finally succumbed to his master’s orders.

Further story in a nutshell is common. The liberalization has liberalized few people in strategic positions more than others. They earn money in excess and finding difficult to cope, invest in such adventures without thinking whether it’s worthwhile or not.

Such kind of miniscule transport business with no worries for the returns or carelessness about expansion is always leading to loss as one has to hand it over to the other man who can’t be under anyone’s control and vigil. There are several possibilities of parting your money by under filling of petrol, repairing costs, thefts, imaginary bribery amounts and toll. Forget the death toll in case of drunken driving. Highway laws are different than the written ones, one has to experience himself.

The tour operators of this kind may have sought all the permissions necessary. But how can one assure the behaviour of the driver on the highway? And who is responsible of the mishaps in such cases?

Or whether we have to spend this life like the kind of deers in the jungle scared of the tigers and lions every moment on these shoddy highways that our rulers have constructed?

This man has shown the courage. Everybody can’t do that. And why everybody should do it?

Such kind of careless behaviour has led to accidents causing deaths a few times of the worshippers visiting religious places with a faith in their minds that the deity would provide them a happy life ahead!

This is an irony.

Initially I was not much enthusiastic of the taxi services of two new fleets, Meru and Easy Cab, as being carried away by the above kind of impression. But recently they have changed my opinion. The taxis are present in your porch dot at time. Their preconditions are well defined. The drivers are well behaved and in between the fleet owners’ representatives keep on enquiring about the status of the travel and finally your feedback specifically about behaviour of the drivers and the time schedule.

I hope they keep up the spirit and their upcoming small followers also do the same, liberalizing us from that Stone Age fear of the deers.

Sunk into the scams the ruling party is patting itself for the financial achievements constantly; their two leaders’, party and executive, mouths shut and paralysed during the session time though! It’s the time they take a lesson or two from the of aam aadmi of the above kind and behave with firmness when the scam scum is visible everywhere else.

At such a time a little care and concern shown for common people if exhibited by the rulers may appease us like that of the fleet.

At times, it surprises me what is so much about getting married. I was waiting in the queue to buy a ticket of Guzarish movie, when I overheard a girl, ahead of me, talking on the phone with her friend, perhaps, about how her parents are so desperate to get her married. “I feel like running away from the house…bloody f&#$,” she said with a disheartened tone while turning back to check if anyone had noticed her saying the “F” word. I saw a frown on her face, full of awe and stress.

That girl was a stranger. Though there is nothing only against girls that I want to comment, most such victims that I come across are girls. I know at least six such girls personally. I know only one such male victim. However, as much as it is unacceptable in our society for a girl to remain a spinster, the same holds true for a bachelor boy cribbing about his marriage or about the parental pressure, and hence boys usually go unnoticed. Thus the entire focus shifts to girls – the same cult which struggles and shouts for a 33% reservation, and for equal rights with men akin “kandhe se kandha mila ke chalna hai with the male bastion” succumbs to parental (and society) pressure often seeking pity under the excuse, “it is simple for you males, it is different for us” or “you guys won’t understand what we have to go through”.

How? Why? I don’t understand.

Primary reason could be our ethos which is obsessed with the norm of settling down, having a family, and living happily ever after (hopefully). Parents assume unnecessary burden of getting their children married and get desperately after it as if they need to heir to pass on their dynastical legacy – a 800 sq. ft. flat at the most with a little left over cash if not everything is spent on the marriage ceremony. What a faux paus!

Does all this really work? I know of a girl who could not bear the agony of being pushed into wedlock, and she finally married someone only to be divorced in less than 12 months. The other similar case that I know is still struggling to settle down with her forcefully chosen husband even after 3 years now.

What ultimately was the use of all those pressure tactics? Just a transformation from one agony to the other.

However, there are four daring ladies that I know who have defied the social norms, objected to their parents’ torture, and taken upon singlehood as their pride. I collectively call them, “The Bold & The Beautifuls”. They are not extremists though. You can call them selfish in a way, and why not, they follow Ayn Rand’s (a female) philosophies, the epitomes of objectivism and virtue of selfishness. “Romantic love, in the full sense of the term, is an emotion possible only to the man (or woman) of unbreached self-esteem” and “I consider marriage a very important institution, but it is important when and if two people have found the person with whom they wish to spend the rest of their lives—a question of which no man or woman can be automatically certain. When one is certain that one’s choice is final, then marriage is, of course, a desirable state. But this does not mean that any relationship based on less than total certainty is improper. I think the question of an affair or a marriage depends on the knowledge and the position of the two persons involved and should be left up to them. Either is moral, provided only that both parties take the relationship seriously and that it is based on values” is what Ayn Rand professes about love and marriage respectively. And the four bold ladies follow that.

These girls hate listening to girls (or boys) who blubber about their marriage tensions. “F*$# off,” they shout simply, “it is for you to decide whether you want to be a lover on whom true love and compassion is bestowed or a slut who is screwed by a same customer every night for that is what he has married you for.”

When argued that at end of the day you need a companion in your old age, someone to share things when you go back home, pat comes the reply, “I don’t need one of that kind in exchange for spreading my legs every night. I would rather need good health and enough money to sustain for rest of my life, and a friend/care taker/companion but not necessarily a husband”

I love when they talk about their singlehood with so much of dignity. They don’t miss giving roses or getting expensive gifts on Valentine’s Day. They don’t sad about there is no one hold their hand or fondle their breasts in the dark corners of the theatre. They don’t miss being kissed or touched.

What is the problem with singlehood? After all, it is all about you being happy.

If you are a single and struggling to find that someone to match up with perfectly or surrendering to your parents’ undue desires then think again. There is nothing wrong in being single. It is just about changing your point of view and attitude. Don’t mourn. Nothing has gone wrong.

In fact there are many things that you can do and enjoy being single. Reconnect with lost friends, go pubbing, read extensively, draw your career roadmaps, set milestones for yourself, plan a vacation, and the list can be endless. Be sure to be disciplined though; don’t be a wild bull. There is nothing as satisfying as enjoying a wholesome delightful life, where everything is yours. Soon you will apprehend the fun of being single, the advantages it has, and singlehood is not a bad thing at all.

It is not something bizarre. Singlehood does not make you look like a loser who has nothing left in life or because there is nobody to love you. On the contrary, it makes you stronger, realistic, and independent. All that it takes is change in approach and strong belief in the self. You have to love yourself and enjoy your own company. If you cannot enthuse yourself it is quite likely “that someone” may not enjoy your company for long. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, in fact mollycoddle yourself, make yourself your priority in life, decide on your pace to lead a content life.

It is not a blight being a single but an opportunity to explore yourself and evolve as a better person. The knowledge of everyday ordinary reality will dawn upon you. A good psychologist friend of mine usually says, “your best friend is just another you.”

Marriages are certainly made in heaven but an infinitesimal error can land you in hell.

Enjoy your freedom. Love thyself.

My niece and I visited an amusement park last weekend. She had been after me since many weeks. Not able to further confront her frowning face, we packed our little bags with the essentials, and drove to the amusement park that had recently opened on the outskirts of the city. More than imagining about the fun we were going to have at the park, I was jollied with the enthusiasm my niece had in her. She was singing all the way, waving her little hands to the kids on the road side, licking the chocolate bar, crunching the potato chips et al.

We reached the destination as per our schedule. It was fun. Lots of joy rides, games, ice creams, and bites of sandwiches. At midday, we took little rest on the lush green lawn under a widely spread banyan tree. I noticed my niece had fixed her gaze on something else. Bright colourful balloons floating in the air had become her fancy. She had instantly fallen in love with the red, blue, yellow, pink, and white shades of the balloons. I bought her one of each colour. With strings of those balloons tightly clutched in her left hand and the right hand gripped in my left palm, she walked hopped all through the way till the parking area. We were heading back home.

My niece had become very possessive and protective of the balloons. She had tied them to a corner of her bed. She took a look at them at least ten times in a day. She kissed each colour once in her every visit. Worried that someone might steal them, she never took those balloons out to play with her friends. Yet she rushed back to her room often while in middle of the game to check if her balloons were in place. She use to go back with a smile. She was so much in love with them.

Eventually with each passing day, she noticed that the balloons were getting smaller and smaller. The smile on her face was making a reverse curve now. Finally one day, she found all her balloons have disappeared and only pieces of rubber remained. She cried a lot that day. She insisted that she wanted the old ones only. I had to surrender. Though it was too mature a statement for her tender age, I had to irrevocably explain to her that nothing is permanent, nothing lasts forever, and one day everything fades away and so on. My niece told me that she will buy new ones, if she wants to, when she grows up; till then she will just be happy about the moments of happiness she had had with those five balloons. In a span of one week or so, my niece had graduated from a series of emotions – happiness, obsession, insecurity, sadness, mournful, and finally maturity.

While returning from office that evening, crammed in the traffic jam, my words to my niece that afternoon resonated back to me. I could draw many analogies based on that, most principally about our interactions or relationships of our day-to-day life. I kept thinking to myself that every relationship in our life is like those little balloons spreading color and joy and making a difference to what we are.

Some relationships leave everlasting impressions in our lives and give us the strength to lead our life till the end with just the fond memories of those relationships. Like how those balloons introduced my niece to different shades of emotions, relationships too take you on a trail of feelings. At times, relationships give you a reason to experience fullness, make you feel stronger, guide us through the difficult times as support, strength and aid us physically, emotionally and perchance spiritually. Some relationships become an integral part of your existence.

Sometimes, we feel that a particular relationship and the things happened to us as they were like a God’s gift especially for us. They are in our lives for the reason we need them to be. They make an impact and difference to who we are.

Yet eventually, no matter how strongly we tend to hold on to it, the relationship hits a roadblock and everything turns into a void. Worst is the fact that sometimes relationships end for no fault of ours, like the balloons disappearing at their will for no fault of my little angel.

People simply walk away. Sometimes they force us to stand up and put a period to the relationship. The fancy of “my world ends at you” soon turns into a fallacy when the same person ends up everything, and you are left staring into the infinity about the next step. You stumble, your crawl, you drag yourself but the person had walked away, too far, too soon.

Relationships sporadically teach us something we have never done before. The mourning and the pain might lessen if we accept the fact that every act has a reason. All we can do is accept the reality, love, and cherish every moment spent. Though it may seem like the end of the world, in reality it is not. Just that it needs some courage. There can always be a new beginning. Though a particular relationship is irreplaceable, a new relationship may be on its way that will shower happiness and love on you all over. You need to welcome it smile, optimism, and little caution perhaps. Don’t shut yourself because something did not work earlier. Open your heart to new ones and embrace the beauty of life, the beauty exists because of every relationship. So let’s love and respect what we have while we still have it for it is certain that “Nothing Lasts Forever”, so before it exhausts live it to your fullest.

With optimism galore
And with attire so neat
Inching towards crore
Sitting on the hot seat

Under hovering rays
And glittering light
Under words of praise
Amplifies the plight

‘You are a crorepati,’
Clapping and smiling
Whooped our Big B
On that magical evening

Sitting with a fortune
He dreamt of Antarctica
Wanting to hold on to
Sexy, pretty Deepika

No matter what
Our destiny carved
We’ll typically be Indians
The ones sexually starved

A leader, one who leads, as the word suggests, is supposed to be an icon, a confident example for the youth, and a strong shoulder for the old to rely on. Recently, one such man who personifies these qualities visited Mumbai, a city which is in dying need of a good leader and able administrator.

Barack Obama was in Mumbai. A man whom people have willingly elected as their President and given him the reigns of the most powerful office in the world. A man who when speaks has fullest of attention drawn to him, people listen without any hesitation and with pin drop silence interspersed with claps and applause. Back home, we have an equally mesmerising speaker-leader, who shares a similar stature and charm - Raj Thackeray.

Obama, a change America believed in and a change world saw. At his Hampshire speech, he upped the crowd frenzy with his words “change is what happening in America right now”. Every time he speaks, Obama seamlessly disseminates his energy to the crowd. And he does it the best. He conjures his vision of doing the best for America and that Americans deserve the best with the crowd that makes the entire environment zealous. That is what is needed in a speaker, a leader. And India lacks such a leader.

There are many leaders qualified to lead India, but we lack a man who shares his zeal, his love for India through his words, through his talks, and no doubt through actions.

There is one such marvellous speaker here in India, on the wrong path though, Raj Thackeray, whose objectives match that of Obama’s, of doing good for his men, however, his steps seem to have set off in the wrong direction. When he speaks, the crowd moves to his words, when he takes his patent pause the audience, all his nemesis miss their heartbeat.

“Yes We Can, three words that will ring from coast to coast and from sea to sea” and these three words did undoubtedly create a new chapter in history not only in America but in the whole world. He motivated people for a change through his words, through his speeches. And when he recently visited Mumbai, his interaction with the youth at St. Xavier’s College was inspiring for us young Indians to bring into politics a leader like him. The dialogue he held with the students, his tact of answering them – taking a pause, pondering over the question, composing an apt answer – show the great orator inside him.

One lucky student who got a chance to ask him a question, remarked, “Sir, someday I wish to be half as good as an orator you are”.

This reaction piteously exposes the dearth of good orators we have in our politics. And the handfuls that we have lack the charisma of holding people together merely by use of effective words. Some speak with accents we can’t understand, some way too loud and some like they are sharing a secret with the microphone. India needs charismatic leaders, who hold the public to their every word, who make people stand at their speeches without hesitation, who inspire the youth, who charge them up, and so on. Raj Thackeray fits into this description of orators. It is simply impossible to ignore him, though you may hear a lot of his hateful-stories. Allies or opposition people take notice of him, he makes them listen and everybody appreciates his oratory, though a few do so cowardly.

At St. Xavier’s, Obama gripped those present, with his alluring style, presenting the youth with three questions to answer and making us want for some more. One of his best answers was about whether material wealth, in very crisp words he just said, “Never preach an empty stomach”. He even remarked that he fell short of examples when making references to people like Gandhi and Dr. King. This shows his humbleness. This is something that Raj may have to work on; a little essence of humanity added to his words will make sampoorna Mumbai fall at his feet. Obama left an impression upon us youth that will last forever and a path that will be walked upon.

Politicians, in my generation, will not commit the mistakes of the older generation, but our own mistakes, in the President’s words. This grappling effect of the youth leaders will certainly make new icons among this generation that will fill in the gap that Indian politics and society desperately need. Raj and Obama can be our “Adarsh” to bring about the change that we have been waiting for long, way too long!

Obama speeches have always astounded me. I am yet to see his words translating into actions, in an effective manner, about the “change” he keeps mentioning about. However, let’s limit to the wonder of words and the mesmerizing effect it has on his audiences.

Trying to decipher the Obama effect one would often deduce that it is all about his oration and the ability to connect. He does that in US every single day perhaps, and he did it here in India too few weeks ago. Everything of his is so finely chiseled – language, diction, gestures, pauses, posture – all adding up to an excellent presentation that leaves a lasting effect on the people listening to him. And his wit of course. During some conference his name plate fell off the desk while he was exhibiting his oratory. His secretaries, body guards, assistants rushed to get the plate in place. Obama waved his hand signaling them to stop and said that it’s ok, don’t bother about the name plate, they all know me. Classy example of being a champion orator coupled with wit. Obama seems to have been bestowed upon with the skills of persuasive communication that many are not equipped with.

It is said that world’s finest leaders had this common trait of subconscious persuasion, and they have used persuasive communication techniques to accurately “change” or “loosen” the state of mind or way of thinking of the masses.

Hitler was one such example who could brilliantly use that technique of anchoring people’s thoughts to his. Obama uses it too.

The motives may seem to differ though. Our very own Raj Thackeray too is an expert of persuasive communication. Perhaps that is one reason why they can be classified under one category of “effective leadership”, men who can influence a group of people to put their (leader’s) words into action.

Sound oratory also takes into account assessment of the audience. Though the words in the speech remain same, the presentation style is flexible in order the stir up the listener. For some group things are put across with some rationale, for e.g. if the listener group is educated and intelligent. However, if the audience is some mediocre mass of people then the oration is soaked in emotions and presented. Adolf Hitler said, “I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few”, something that both Obama and Raj practice; Obama in a mellow tone while Raj in aggressive tenor.

Leaders are also often identified by the ideologies and objectives they follow. Taking forward Obama’s and Raj’s example, their struggle too is for their own citizens, Americans and Marathis respectively. Both want to create a paradigm shift in the systems in their respective territories, fighting for the cause of their own people – a “change” that they want to bring about. Much like Obama shook the world emerging as the first black President of United States, Raj also has been creating tremors in the political base of Maharashtra.

With their quality of excellent oratory and helping hands for public administration, it is now only to be seen how effectively, the “change” is brought about.

I met Pratyush today. During our school days, Pratyush and I had acted in a drama called ‘Alladin Ka Chirag’. I was Alladin and because of his chubby bulky stature, Pratyush suited to be a Jinee. Since then, Pratyush always used to fantasize about the story and dreamt of getting all world pleasures. He used to try and rub every lamp or lamp like structure that he came across. His obsession grew to such an extent that he always used to walk alongside the guttars, nalas, garbage boxes and so on, just with a hope that he would find a lamp someday and that lamp would produce a Jinee, when rubbed. He changed his school and eventually we lost contact. I have no idea whether his quest for that lamp was still on.

When I met him today (We got in touch with each other through some alumni site and then planned to meet), nothing much had changed - same bulky physique, searching eyes and noisy presence. To my surprise, even today he hunts for a lamp and jokes about it – ‘Never lose hope’. However, the desperation had reduced to a significant extent. We got nostalgic about the drama and how we read a lot of Alladin stuff collected from books, teachers, grandparents and so on (good that Internet was a distant reality then). We laughed thinking of the times when Pratyush would walk near the garbage boxes. I used to tease him – ‘Tu bada hokey bhangaarwala banega (You will be a rag picker when you grow up)’.

While coming back home I kept thinking about Pratyush and his search for lamp. Some random flashed across my mind and realized that there are lot of Jinnies around you, only if you comprehend it properly. People around you give you a lot, possibly all the pleasures and happiness that you could have ever thought of. At least, I have been lucky to find such real life Jinnies who have cherished my life and made it a wonderful experience. My family, wife, friends, teachers, colleagues all at some point in time have helped me walk through some memorable moments of satisfaction and pleasure. Everything else that a Jinee from the lamp could offer seems very materialistic. At end of the day, I feel happier recounting the number of smiles I have had, than the gold, wealth, riches that a Jinee could have offered – and all this without rubbing a lamp.

If only Pratyush could realize that Jinnies are all around, he does not need a lamp (which he may never find) to rub his hands on, but just needs to open his eyes.

APPRECIATION! A simple 12 letter word can be a great expression of gratitude, when used timely and wisely.

If you have ever observed closely, appreciation works wonders, helps you start your day on definite positive note. It will keep you motivated all through the day, may be even weeks. It will bestow upon you a sense of recognition. However, as unfortunate it may sound, most of the times things tend to be taken for granted, thus slaying the entire essence of simplicity and the might of few “feel-good” words.

Slow down, look around. You will find a zillion reasons to appreciate little things around you. Do you remember the last time you appreciated your toiling gardener. Yes, that very gardener who got parched with those hot sunrays just to ensure that your verandah remains full of shade and greenery. The one who pulled out the weeds, mended overgrown bushes, and nurtured those plants to decorate your house surroundings. You might want to argue about all that being his duty and he is anyways meant to do it. However, wouldn’t have a gesture of gratitude worked like a shot in the arm for him? Gardener may seem like someone distant, not in relation, you may argue further. Do you remember having ever said ‘thank you’ to your spouse or kid who welcomes you at home with cheerful smile, enough to drain away the tiredness in you? Most certainly and unfortunately the answer will be ‘no’ or you would keep rubbing your memory forever.

We don’t do it anywhere not to our maids, family, employees, colleagues, or just may be some stranger on the street. We have lost the beautiful gift of smile and appreciation. We are too busy accumulating wealth, buying automated gadgets, celebrating luxury vacations. All this perhaps offers physical and social comfort. However, at emotional or mental level, the restlessness will still continue to crumple you under distress.

At times, simple and small nice words do wonders than big incentives, monetary or otherwise. People may forget those incentives, the amount may soon perish, and however, they will forever cherish how you made them feel at a particular moment.

Take time to appreciate simple little things around you, and see the change that will come to you, your attitude, and your life overall.

I APPRECIATE your time for reading this.