She is the apple of daddy's eyes, mommy is her close friend, an adorable pampered little sissy at times. A Barbie doll for all at home. She is the most beautiful girl they have ever seen. She is adamant, she is caring, she is bossy. No one ever raise a voice at her. No one dare demean her. She lives in her own cocoon. She lives life the way she wants.. She is always a priority. She is confident. She feels protected. She believes she has the control. Where she is taught never to compromise on things less worthy of her. Her fears are soothed when not sure. Probably I can add millions of many beautiful lines which a daughter experiences in her home.
But the transition she feels when she marries is very different from what she would have ever imagined. She is a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law, a co-sister, a sister-in-law.......many caps on a single head. Amazing she plays many roles at a single time. she cooks, she manages, she bonds, she gives. Life definitely changes for a girl once she is married. First of all, she abandons her cocoon to adjust to a different environment. Share herself and her things with a stranger. She learns to adjust, she learns patience. She learns the true meaning of compromise. A girl who always demanded her space now learns to give away her privacy to her husband, who might still be a stranger. He suddenly becomes her confidante and is expected her to share every chapter of her life lived so far. Where she has to do sweet talks to those whom she dislikes.Where responsibilities are thrown on her and she is expected to be perfect in everything. Of course, there isn’t any crash course offered to learn how to handle miscommunications, how to behave like a good girl and keep her senses shut when she has to put up with constant nagging. Sounds like a Saas-bahu saga?. Trust me, sometimes life is much more than those sagas. The scenario may not be the same for all. But at times I wonder where does she learn all these things to manage people. How would it be for a girl to make decisions when two families are in question. Whose side should she stand? One end is the family where she was born, where she is still a princess of that house, where she learnt the culture, where she learnt to be responsible, where she dreamt of a perfect husband and loving in-laws. The other end is her soul mate and his family. No, mistake does not exist at all. Its either she knows to do it, or she has not learnt anything. In her not so perfect house, she tailors her tastes and needs to suit the family. She is expected to do so. You see, that’s what women are meant to be. When she pronounces dependency she is quoted to be unaccomplished. When she displays individuality, she is tagged as arrogant and full of attitude. Sometimes, I feel every woman before getting into the wedlock must be given a complete port folio of her new house. So that she can at least tailor her dreams accordingly. Star Plus had come with a show called “Star Vivaah”. The prospective grooms will introduce their parents, show you their house, their tastes and things. I was wondering will they also show the temperament of their mom? Will they show what responsibilities she has to bear? Will they give her a list the things she needs to learn from spices to needles. But again on second thoughts maybe women are just meant to give. No wonder she is looked after like a princess in her mom’s house and every mother fears her daughter’s welfare when she is married.
No matter how handsome, dynamic is the groom.
But the transition she feels when she marries is very different from what she would have ever imagined. She is a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law, a co-sister, a sister-in-law.......many caps on a single head. Amazing she plays many roles at a single time. she cooks, she manages, she bonds, she gives. Life definitely changes for a girl once she is married. First of all, she abandons her cocoon to adjust to a different environment. Share herself and her things with a stranger. She learns to adjust, she learns patience. She learns the true meaning of compromise. A girl who always demanded her space now learns to give away her privacy to her husband, who might still be a stranger. He suddenly becomes her confidante and is expected her to share every chapter of her life lived so far. Where she has to do sweet talks to those whom she dislikes.Where responsibilities are thrown on her and she is expected to be perfect in everything. Of course, there isn’t any crash course offered to learn how to handle miscommunications, how to behave like a good girl and keep her senses shut when she has to put up with constant nagging. Sounds like a Saas-bahu saga?. Trust me, sometimes life is much more than those sagas. The scenario may not be the same for all. But at times I wonder where does she learn all these things to manage people. How would it be for a girl to make decisions when two families are in question. Whose side should she stand? One end is the family where she was born, where she is still a princess of that house, where she learnt the culture, where she learnt to be responsible, where she dreamt of a perfect husband and loving in-laws. The other end is her soul mate and his family. No, mistake does not exist at all. Its either she knows to do it, or she has not learnt anything. In her not so perfect house, she tailors her tastes and needs to suit the family. She is expected to do so. You see, that’s what women are meant to be. When she pronounces dependency she is quoted to be unaccomplished. When she displays individuality, she is tagged as arrogant and full of attitude. Sometimes, I feel every woman before getting into the wedlock must be given a complete port folio of her new house. So that she can at least tailor her dreams accordingly. Star Plus had come with a show called “Star Vivaah”. The prospective grooms will introduce their parents, show you their house, their tastes and things. I was wondering will they also show the temperament of their mom? Will they show what responsibilities she has to bear? Will they give her a list the things she needs to learn from spices to needles. But again on second thoughts maybe women are just meant to give. No wonder she is looked after like a princess in her mom’s house and every mother fears her daughter’s welfare when she is married.
No matter how handsome, dynamic is the groom.
- Anitha Govardhan
Categories:
Anitha Govardhan,
Behaviour,
Human Bondage,
Human Emotion,
Lifestyle,
Relationships,
Women
